Seasons.

When you wake up in the morning and check the weather report and it says sunny, you think perfect. I love this season, today is a happy day. However you walk out the door and instead of feeling that warm sun, you get hit in the face with rain. It’s unexpected, it messes your outfit, it can be inconvenient. Seems the seasons have changed and you didn’t even know that it was happening.

Like the actual seasons you experience, you have magical days and then you have down right gloomy days. Some days in Winter I love, but then there are some days when it just rains all the time and I hate winter. I have realized parenting is not dissimilar to this.

I often say to my husband, man it is so hard at the moment. I know it is just a season and it will pass, but right now it is really hard.

My days revolve around my children, around my husband. If I am not with them, I am constantly thinking of them. I suspect this season doesn’t end. Whilst I am a mum and a wife, I am sure I will always be thinking of my family. Some days they are much needier than others, some days require more patience, more tolerance and more sleep.

A friend explained it so well to me, she said “ I absolutely adore my kids, they are awesome and I love them so much, I just hate the whole parenting side of things.’

I have realized that with four children, even with the same DNA they are so different. I read parenting books, blogs and listen to people give advice, but it is never relevant to all four of my kids. Each child is so different and they need their own individual manual.

Sometimes when I go places, before I get out of the car, I just sit. I take a deep breath, give myself a pep talk and say. ‘You got this.’

You have days when you look at your kid and you think to yourself ‘I love you, but I just don’t like you so much right now.’

Does that thought alone make me a terrible mother?

It’s such a crazy journey, this parenting gig. It’s a roller coaster of emotions. One day I just sat on my bed and cried, my husband asked what’s wrong and all I could say was I don’t know, but I just don’t feel like me anymore.

The days aren’t all doom and gloom, there are those days when the sun shines bright and it’s a good season. There are glorious moments, when you look at your child and wonder how even though you feel like you don’t have it together and you don’t have any idea what you are doing. Somehow your little person is actually doing ok.

What I have realised the most in this parenting business, is that we don’t suffer these seasons alone. There are other mums out there who are also feeling a similar way.

As mums we need to celebrate those amazing times we have, but we also need to have people in our lives we can have those difficult conversations with. The ones where we raise our hands and say, today was horrendous.

Being a super mum is realising that you aren’t super human. We actually do feel things, sometimes too much. Sometimes we feel like we are being pulled in every which way. Sometimes we feel like we are stuffing up. Sometimes we need someone to tell us that even though it’s raining today, tomorrow the showers are clearing and the sun is coming out.

For mums today who felt the rain on the face, hang in there. I heard that the showers are easing and the sun will be coming out soon.