Be Kind.

Three weeks after my fourth child was born I decided it was time to venture into the unknown. Take my four children shopping.

I wont lie I was feeling confident.

We walked the aisles as a tight unit. Two kids in the trolley, two kids holding either sides of the trolley. We walked as one. I proceeded to place groceries in the trolley, smiled at the well-meaning people who looked at my little family unit like we were a circus act.

We were doing ok.

We reached the sultana aisle. Baby decided today she would let us know she has great lung capacity. She screamed. Child 3 then proceeded to cry because she didn’t know why the baby was crying. #1 kindly reminded me that the baby was crying and #2 wanted the sultanas that weren’t there.

At this point I am wondering what I am to do? I had committed to my shop and it was too late to abort the mission. My cupboards at home were bare and the children demand to be fed every night. I wanted a giant sinkhole. The smiles from fellow shoppers had now turned to looks of disgust and pity. My two little ones were still crying and I desperately wanted to join them.

As I held a box of sultanas in my hand, on the verge of tears a sweet looking lady came up beside me. I felt hope. I looked up to her with a small smile between my tears.

“Oh no they aren’t all yours are they?” “You are much too young for this, don’t do it to yourself”

Sucker punch right there.

I thought of course woman they are mine. Look at them, they are carbon copies of each other and they look just like me. Along with too late sweet heart I have already done this to myself.

I looked at the box of sultanas in my hand and in that moment I wanted to throw them at her.

I was having a moment. A bad moment. A hard moment. Kindness would not have hurt. Someone saying – well done for getting out of the house, hang in there – you are doing a great job, don’t worry it gets better.

As mums I am pretty sure we have all had these moments. Even just with one child who doesn’t want to cooperate. One of the most difficult things about being a parent is the inability to control how your child behaves in public, all we can really do is control our reaction.

So while we are trying to deal with a difficult situation in front of us, the last thing we want to do is hand out front row tickets to the circus act.

As fellow parents, we should be each other’s cheerleaders, hold your arm up in solidarity. This struggling mum is surely not on her own, so she should not feel like she is.

Some days we are one comment away from self-doubt and really questioning our ability to parent. We are one comment away to committing to house arrest for the foreseeable future.

There is so much power in our words and in our actions.

Kindness my friends, does not cost a thing, but can make a poor struggling mother of four feel like she isn’t doing such a terrible job.

Be kind.